


Somewhat Damaged

by WolfSpirit00



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Depression, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-09-20 20:09:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9511208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfSpirit00/pseuds/WolfSpirit00
Summary: He didn't know why he was like this and he hated it... he hated when he got like this but there was no way to stop it. He could only wait for the feeling to return to his soul again...





	

A single lone figure at in the still and dimly lit room. The only movement was the clock ticking over to midnight and pale blue eyes flicking over, barely registering the time before they returned to their blank stare ahead. Midnight... the building had been empty for a number of hours now and the man in the room was still there, unmoving outside of a small fidget here or there. He figured he probably should have told somebody, after all he should have been home seven hours ago, but honestly he couldn't bring himself to care. He couldn't bring himself to feel much of anything right now.

Link had put on a smile earlier that day, laughing and joking and acting happy. Nobody was the wiser about how he really felt - nobody saw the pain and numbness in his heart. Well, nobody except for Rhett. Rhett had pulled him over twice, asking if he was okay. Link waved it off as just not feeling very good which he supposed was almost true but he didn't say anything more. Rhett clearly saw through the lie but he didn't pressure for more details - he never did and Link was grateful for that. He wouldn't be able to explain why he felt this way if he was confronted and the thought was almost to much for him. He didn't know why he was like this and he hated it... he hated when he got like this but there was no way to stop it. He could only wait for the feeling to return to his soul again...  
  
By now it had been five hours since the last of the crew members had left the building and it was silent, dark and empty. The only lights on being a couple that was left for Link to navigate out with, though he had no intention of doing that and time had no meaning to him. His eyes were pink from barely blinking and his body was numb from hardly moving but it didn't matter. Sometimes he wondered why he went through this... why he fought, why he suffered. He had no answer to that, just like he had no answer to what was wrong with him. He didn't understand and he hated it but there was nothing he could do. He was numb and empty and alone... normally the feeling was buried deep inside of him, mostly forgotten day to day. But sometimes, for seemingly no reason at all, the feeling reared it's ugly head and crashed into him full force. It could last from hours to months at a time and it always crushed him... suffocated him. He felt he could die from it and at times that thought didn't seem so bad... which only made him hate it even more. For now though his mind was empty, the static of being numb and lonely filling his head and his heart in the semi darkness.

 

* * *

  
“Alright, I'll see if he's still in the studio.” Rhett got off the phone with Christy with his brows deeply furrowed, the only indication of his worry. He wasn't about to jump to conclusions, though, so stayed calm for now. He grabbed his wallet and keys and let Jessie know that he was going to go find Link, giving her a small peck before he left the house and started for their office. Link hadn't been home yet and he and Rhett had been finished with work for the day since 5pm... It was midnight now and there was no word from him. Luckily the crew had said that he was still in the studio at 7pm when they left for the day but that was still five hours that Link was off the grid. His phone was off and he hadn't informed anybody of him doing anything, and that was all very strange of him to say the least.

The drive was quicker then normal, the roads being nearly empty. Rhett saw Link's car still in it's usual spot as he pulled into the parking lot and headed inside. The building was dark outside of just a few lights left on, probably from the crew for Link. That gave the tall man hope that Link was still here but it didn't really answer any questions. He went to check their office first, having been told that was where Link was last seen and hoped the brunet would be there... if he wasn't then it would be almost time to worry. The door was just slightly cracked and Rhett pushed it open a little to see inside, his gentle green eyes scanning the room for any sign of his friend. The room was dimly lit and it took a moment for Rhett's eyes to adjust, but once they did he saw the very familiar silhouette of his best friend sitting on the couch. For a moment Rhett felt a wave of relief, knowing at least the man was here... but that didn't answer the question of why so pretty quickly the concern grew back in Rhett's gut.

Gently he pushed open the door the rest of the way and he saw Link grant him a short glance before the man's blue hues returned to staring ahead of him at nothing in particular. Rhett frowned, feeling really worried for his friend now as he slowly entered the room, stopping near the his friend and looking down at him, “You okay, man? Christy said that you haven't been home yet, and your phone's turned off.”  
  
The only reaction that Link gave him to that was a small, barely noticeable shrug with his eyes still glued forward. His body felt heavy and drained and he didn't feel like arguing. In fact he didn't feel like this conversation at all but he knew better then to tell Rhett to leave. Had it been anybody else he would have immediately put his emotional mask back on but he didn't have to hide how he was feeling in front of Rhett, despite the fact he knew it would cause questions.

Rhett, of course, was not content with a simple silent shrug as an answer and sat down next to Link on the couch, turning his body to face him and looking at his friend with deeply concerned eyes and a gentle voice, “Hey... what's wrong?”  
  
Link didn't answer at first, hoping maybe Rhett would give up and leave. But the piercing gaze never left and Link felt it cut into his core, finally breaking him down enough to take a soft breath. When he spoke his voice was unnaturally soft and gentle, barely audible in the silence, “I don't know, Rhett...”  
  
He didn't know? Rhett's brow furrowed again and he stared at Link, trying to read him. He knew Link got weird sometimes and it was the source of some of their arguments but it didn't even give the smallest reaction this time, “What do you mean you don't know?”  
  
Link held back a soft sigh, knowing Rhett sometimes tried to pry out of him why he felt the way he did, never seeming to understand that sometimes emotions didn't need a reason, “I mean I don't know, Rhett.” He didn't feel like arguing right now and he was too drained to get angry. His voice was still barely above a whisper, “I just feel bad... It's okay, I'll be fine. Don't worry about me, alright? Just go home.”  
  
Again, Rhett stared at Link a little bit, trying to figure out the best way to proceed. He hadn't gotten even the smallest spark of an argument or of annoyance like he normally would have which told him this was worse then normal, “What do you mean don't worry about you? You're my best friend, Link... I'm going to worry about you whether you like it or not.”

That earned him nothing more then a soft sigh out of Link and the man said nothing else, hardly acknowledging Rhett's words at all. Normally Rhett would be getting a little annoyed at Link right now for being unreasonably overly emotional with no reason but this seemed to be more then his normal sensitivity. Rhett forced himself into Link's line of sight and spoke with a tone soft enough to almost match Link's, “Link... please. I'm here to help.”  
  
That seemed to finally get Link's focus up to Rhett's face and the man stared at him for a few moments. That short amount of silence broke Rhett's heart because he now saw Link's eyes... The normally happy, excited and shining blue irises looked empty, pained and gray. Rhett didn't say anything, though, and just hoped Link would explain. Finally the brunet shrugged again, “I just get like this sometimes, Rhett... I don't have a reason. I just feel... depressed. I try to keep it from you... I wasn't expecting you to show up. I'm sorry...”  
  
Depressed... yea, that sounded about right. Rhett thought back to all of the times Link seemed to act kind of weird and drawn in. The times Rhett thought Link was mad at him because of clearly forced laughter or the sadness that sometimes radiated from him. Nobody else ever seemed to noticed but Rhett did. Rhett never pried, though, figuring that if it was important or that if Link wanted him to know, he'd say something. Sometimes Rhett saw these weird patches starting and specifically started an argument about Link being too 'sensitive' to skirt him away from the path. Sometimes it worked, the annoyance and anger keeping feeling in him long enough to make it through, but sometimes it didn't work. Rhett was tired of seeing his friend hurting all of the time, but he had no idea how to help him, “This has happened before...”

“Yea...” Link looked away again, his gaze falling to the floor, “Normally I'm fine.. but...”  
  
“Why haven't you told me?” Rhett couldn't help but feel a little hurt, nor could he hide that fact from his voice. They had a history of decades together, growing up together and going through so many things together. They never hid anything from each other but yet Link hid this? Rhett wished he had been able to mask the tone of his voice, however, because as soon as Link registered it his eyes went from just being numb to looking like he had been stabbed in the soul, “I didn’t want to burden you, Rhett... I do that enough. There's no fixing this... so...”

“We're brothers, Link. You can't burden me.” He knew Link was going to argue with that statement and the younger man even started to open his mouth to protest, but Rhett wasn't going to let him this time. He cut Link off by pulling him into a tight hug. This wasn't a normal hug, this was one that served a purpose and that purpose was to support Link as much as he could - to take some of that burden off of Link's heart and replace it with Rhett's strength. He didn't say anything, there was nothing for him to say anyway, instead he just held Link tight.

It was a surprise to feel those arms wrap around him, not having expected the sudden contact. Link felt stiff at first, hardly feeling like he was even in his own skin but soon the warmth and strength of Rhett's long arms wrapped around him started to melt some of the cold, empty shell and warm tears began to slide down his face. Rhett made him feel so safe in the outside world and he could protect him from anything... he just wished Rhett could protect him from himself.

Slowly Link gave in, letting himself melt into the man as gentle sobs began to escape and shake his body. When he spoke the numb, quiet voice was replaced by a soft, broken one, “I hate being like this, Rhett. Normally I'm fine, I'm happy. But sometimes I just - It's like a crushing weight. I feel so empty and numb and alone. I hate it - I hate it so much. I think such horrible thoughts a-and-” He couldn't continue as his throat seemed to tighten a little and more sobs escaped, a little harder then the ones before. He held onto Rhett tightly as he cried, feeling like he might just slip away if they parted, “What's wrong with me....?”

Rhett didn't say anything at first, letting Link let out some much needed tears. Only once the man quieted down did he speak, his voice gentle and supportive as possible, “Link... having depression isn't your fault.”  
  
Link's body noticeably twitched at Rhett calling it for what it was. Link never let himself think of it as that, having been too afraid to face the truth. He tried to just tell himself it was mood swings, but he knew as soon as Rhett said it that there was no denying it. Rhett always had a hunch that Link had at least mild depression but he never said anything about it, knowing that it would be no good to bring it up until Link was ready to face the truth. Link shook his head, not wanting to admit the truth so Rhett went on, seeing this as possibly his one chance to help his friend. He spoke in a firm but gentle voice, leaving no room for argument, “Depression is an illness, Link. You can't blame yourself for being sick... What you can do is trust me.” He rubbed Link's back and hair a little bit, “Have you been to therapy about this?” Rhett knew the answer but just wanted conformation. Sure enough Link shook his head, “I'm too scared...”  
  
“I'll go with you, then. Every session if you need me to.” That made Link pause and pull back a little to look into Rhett's face, trying to find even the smallest glint of a lie or sick joke in those green eyes. Link's eyes were red from tears, the blue of the irises standing out in contrast, but Rhett's eyes held no sign of dishonestly, “You'd do that?”  
  
Normally Rhett may have cracked a somewhat mean joke or tease but he knew better then to do that right now. Instead he simply answered with a question, “We've been friends all of our lives and you think I wouldn't?”  
  
Rhett made a good point but Link still didn't see why Rhett would do such a thing for him. That's a lot of time and possibly a lot of money just to help Link stop feeling sad... but Link didn't question it. He would do the same for Rhett after all. So instead he just lowered his head and sniffed, fidgeting with his hands a little as he thought over Rhett's offer. He had been struggling off and on for so long. Normally he was fine, the activities of every day easily overpowering the gentle hum deep down... sometimes that hum got louder but he got through...but after tonight... He took a deep, shaky breath and closed his eyes a moment as he nodded, “O-okay...”  
  
Rhett smiled softly and squeezed Links shoulder a little, “Good.”

Link still made no move to get up, though... depression didn't work like that. He may have been happy at the thought of Rhett helping him but he still felt an emptiness deep inside of him and a sadness at his core that just wouldn't shake off that easily. Rhett saw this and frowned for a moment, looking his friend up and down before he pulled out his phone. He sent a couple of texts then turned it off, setting it to the side and getting comfortable next to Link. He wrapped an arm around the man's shoulders which made Link look at him in confusion and Rhett smiled at the silent question, “You don't need to fight alone anymore, Link... I'm here.”  
  
That made a soft shadow of a genuine smile flicker onto Link's lips. He let himself rest his head on Rhett's shoulder and tried to focus on the warmth next to him. Link closed his eyes, feeling the familiar numb sadness in his heart again but it wasn't as bad as before. It was so much more bearable now... For the first time in many years he realized he wasn't alone - Everything was going to be okay. His mind still dragged him into the darkness, trying to suffocate him... but he wasn't alone anymore. Rhett would never let him drown. Maybe those arms that could protect him from the world could save him from himself after all.  
  


 


End file.
